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Episode 02-07: Consent & The Digital Get Down

This week, we talk to Cherí Calico Roman and Pages Matam about consent, how to keep virtual sex spicy and more.
We also use the intro to talk a bit about America’s Dick and Bella Thorne breaking OnlyFans.

Who is Cherí Calico Roman?
Cherí Calico Roman (she/her) is a queer – femme 29 y.o. Philadelphia native and is the Co-Founder of The Poly Cultural Diversity Alliance (PCDA); the creators of Black Poly Pride (BPP) – the first Pride weekend that centers the black Polyamorous community and its multiple intersections and “Are Black People Allowed?” A Series of Virtual Conversations & Events. 
She is a Black polyamorous community organizer, activist, Investor, Creative and professional doula/birthing advocate who is currently dedicated to consensually curating a Seduction Renaissance and a Wild and Free Coterie.
Cheri was also on Episode 01-26 with the co-founder of the PCDA/BPP, Chanee
You can find her across social platforms on Instagram & Facebook
The Poly Cultural Diversity Alliance Instagram, Black Poly Pride Instagram, Black Poly Pride Facebook, Black Poly Pride Twitter

Who is Pages Matam?
Pages Matam – or Sir Wolfgang if you Kinky – is a multilingual international champion poet, writer, performer, event coordinator, & educator from Cameroon, Central Africa.
He is a castmember of the Sweet Spot, an award winning all Black burlesque & Sex positivity education national touring troupe.
His work intersects in culture and identity politics,  Black Liberation, radical healing spaces and holistic sex & sensual practices, having appeared in Essence,  Cosmopolitan, Button Poetry, The Kennedy Center, and more.
He is currently based in Washington D.C., where he spends his off time writing scripts and being a proud gummy bear elitist, anime fanatic, and fried plantain connoisseur.
You can find Pages on Twitter and Instagram and his website

What is this about a Consent Summit?
The National Coalition of Sexual Freedom (NCSF) has decreed that September is Consent Month.
The Poly Cultural Diversity Alliance (PCDA) Virtual Consent Summit is sponsored by the NCSF and is taking place on September 19, 2020.
What’s the tagline? “Consent is B.A.E.- Before All Else (No matter HOW you connect)”
Wanna sign up for this FREE consent summit? Here is the PCDA Consent Summit Link

Now that you know all this stuff, let’s dive in to the episode.

  • The Bella Thorne story is just…ugh. HERE is a great Twitter thread that gives you the details of why Bella Thorne is a shitstain and BBC even did a story about it
  • Chris Evans accidentally posted a shot of his camera roll on Instagram and it included a meme that says “Guard That Pussy” and the heavyweight champion of America…his dick. In addition to America’s Ass, he also has America’s Dick and Jhen ain’t mad at it.
  • THIS is the tweet that Jhen mentioned with Mark Ruffalo and Ira’s comment. It’s still funny as hell.
  • Here is the YouTube link to Digital Getdown by *NSync
  • The conversation with us, Cheri & Pages was SPICY. Like…the energy was soooo sensual and naughty that it made Jhen a little damp during the editing and re-listening to make sure she got the show notes right. Just so you know.
  • Really we just jump start the interview with Cheri saying she feels the moresome vibe with the 4 of us and Jhen agrees.
  • For all the children, A/S/L means Age, Sex, Location. NOT AS HELL!
  • Yes, Jhen & Sham had some interesting experiences on chatrooms back in the day. Jhen is forever a troll.
  • This Avatar metaphor that we used for how to get on Pages level is hilarious. Our artist is STILL working on it BUT lemme detail it for you here:
    Earth: WiFi/Stable Internet Connection, Air: Follow Thorough Water: Creativity/Thinking Outside the Box, Fire: Intention
  • Also we appreciate the plug Pages gives to us! Support us on Patreon for as little as $3 a month and Anchor for as little as $1.
  • Marco Polo seems to be a great app! Intimacy mentioned it on a previous episode and now we’ve decided we need to get it too.
  • Sending your partner a pair of your panties! That is definitely a way to keep things spicy if you are long distance. Also if you live with a partner or do overnights, sticking a pair of your previously worn panties in their pocket before they go to work? Yes!
  • We discuss blanket consent and consistent and constant communication around consent.
  • Pages talked about the shifting nature of spontaneity as he learned and understood more about consent.
  • Jhen may have exaggerated the amount of times she had sex with a previous partner but only slightly.
  • Cheri starts a conversation about learning things about your partner during this COVID time period and even learning about your own desires.
  • Pages talks about something new that he has tried during COVID which is…shadow sex? It sounds quite wonderful. (BTW Jhen did see it, it was glorious)

Debauchery, but make it art.

– Pages Matam
  • We really are going to put that quote on a shirt. It’s gonna be in our merch shop.
  • Sham talks about the different kinds of porn that he has been exploring in this COVID thing.
  • We talk about doing a nude course which Pages is going to teach – more information coming soon!
  • Peen Cream (TRADEMARKED/COPYRIGHTED OR WHATEVER BY CHERI CALICO ROMAN) is gonna take off. We strongly believe in moisturising. Do that. Moisturise
  • Dudes…DO NOT take your nude over the toilet if toilet play is not the kink of the person you sending it to. Just saying. Elevate your nudes!
  • Creating intimate moments is bomb. Cheri talks about her experience reading erotica to someone and creating intimacy while long distance and Pages gets even deeper to talk about relearning our partners and doing new things to strengthen your relationship even when you live with your partner
  • Cheri gives us a few details about what will be covered at the Consent Summit and goes into how we need to be having constant communication before sex. Pages chimes in indicating we also need to have a conversation after sex as well and be okay with whatever those conversations may yield. Cheri also mentions the necessity to have conversations during sex.
  • Pretty much we wanna just normalize communication. Let’s just communicate open and honestly

There’s no maybe sorta kinda when it comes to consent.

– Cheri Calico Roman
  • Digital consent is something we haven’t really talked about much but definitely something we have to navigate in this world and it is not just about non-consensual dick pics.
  • This conversation opens up a whole thing where we talk about nesting partners having access to each other’s messages and also about people sharing sexy videos and photos that do not include just them in comments and groups without checking in.
  • We really gotta be okay hearing the word no y’all. No is not a bad word.
  • Incel & Man’s Land people really just need to be…yeah. It’s scary out here in these streets with people like that roaming about.
  • Cheri gives us another bit of insight into something that will be discussed at the summit
  • The politics of desirability! That’s a whole thing.
  • All In Your Throat – Sukihana
  • Somehow this gets into a conversation about feet and pedicures and cumming on feet which really it’s on brand for us in this conversation so we just let it ride.
  • Yep…it devolves into cum eating and people who don’t drink water.
  • [Jhen did not drink or do drugs while editing this episode]
  • We are NOT sharing that self-thrusting dildo link. Jhen was very serious about this lol. You have to ask Cheri about that.
  • The new hopin platform is pretty dope to be honest, not gonna lie.

There is a merch shop that we are working on…technically it’s UP and there but like…Jhen doesn’t think it’s ready. We were told Threadless was a good place to start a merch shop so if you happen to see us there and place an order then that will be dope.

As always, you can reach us on Twitter and Instagram where we post things.

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You can still sign up for Poly Dallas Millennium! Register today to lock in a special discounted rate and tell a friend so they can join you there.

Yuh Too Bright! (YTB!) is a clothing line that our friends are putting out and launch day is September 19, 2020! Check em out and tell them we sent you with code Monogamish for 10% off your order on their website. You can follow them on Instagram to get more info too.

Thanks again so much for listening and reading with us.
Xoxo
Byeeeeeeee

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