On this week’s episode we talk to Zach & Intimacy about kink! Zach AND Intimacy have both been guests of ours before and so we were HYPE to have this conversation.
A note before we dive in:
Poly Dallas Millennium 2020 is happening November 6-8, 2020 and Jhen is hosting the Friday night opening ceremony along with Pages Matam aka Sir Wolfgang. Do you wanna be a part of this amazing 3 day event? Sign up TODAY using THIS LINK.
You can find Zach on Instagram, Twitter, the ABM Podcast, Episode 01-28, Episode 02-08, FetLife name: Invictuz, ConsentWarrior.com
Intimacy can be found on Instagram, Twitter, Episode 02-05 (They really are EVERYWHERE as PolyFreeLove), FetLife name: TexasLadyOfLove
“Kink and fetishes are not inherently bad things”Zach Budd
- The definition we got together last episode pretty much holds up but Zach and Intimacy starts this episode by BLOWING OUR MIND and letting us know that not everyone thinks of kink/fetish as a sexual thing. Zach encourages us to to switch sexual for sensual/sensuality.
- Intimacy takes us right into one of her fetishes which is autoerotic asphyxiation. It is erotic for her
“Everyone always thinks they’re kinky until they meet someone who is kinkier.”Zach Budd
- Zach was DEFINITELY High Key flexing on the peeps.
- Intimcay shares a story with us about a partner of hers trying too much too fast at Sex Down South 2019 and her having to take care of him. Aftercare is essential y’all.
- The steps to a wonderful experience
- Before Care: is the consent & conversation & negotiation & checking things out – it’s how you protect yourself.
- The Scene: Whatever it is y’all agreed to do and communication during
- After Care: Everyone involved needs after care! Tops too. The aftercare starter pack can include: a drink, a snack, something soft and cuddly and someone to take care of you.
- Zach is an Ethical Sadist (Top/Dom)
- Intimacy dominates her subs from the bottom
- They have strong feelings about brats in kink and it doesn’t seem to work for wither of them during play.
- Jhen for some reason is Tom Cruise in an analogy in talking about Kink and scenes.
- We talk about the best way to get in the right head space for scenes and kink events and the necessary work you have to do.
- BDSM/Kink Scenes can be used as treatment for trauma. Here’s some proof.
- Endorphins are good but also not very good at all
- Intimacy explains that you cannot renegotiate in the middle of a scene for something new especially when the endorphins are flowing and the importance of negotiating before play starts.
- Jhen talks about her weird accidental burning of herself and how it doesn’t even really hurt anymore. Intimacy has thoughts on that
- Intimacy talks about Predator/Prey dynamics. Zach takes us even deeper down the rabbit hole
- Intimacy likes to be gnawed on and likes to gnaw on penises and testicles. It’s not as scary as it sounds.
- Zach talks to us about a D/s (Dominant/Submissive) and a Master/Slave dynamic
“Not everybody in kink is suffering from past childhood trauma and that’s the reason that they’re into kink…this is not a pathology, this is a way of living and a way of being and it’s a form of expression.”Zach Budd
- Zach and Intimacy both reiterate how kink is personal and private and a very intimate connection between the people involved.
- Fifty Shades of Grey is horrible for Kinky people and Romancelandia people. One of the BIGGEST issues that exists with this dumpster fire is that it’s portrayed as some rich white people shit – lack of diversity for $10,000 Alex!
- Zach talks the history of kink and leather amongst POCs and the ties between kink, leather and the LGBTQ+ community.
- Jhen asks the hard questions about what Zach & Intimacy think about the latest surge in FinDom on social media.
- We asked Intimacy and Zach about what media they recommend (movies, books, etc) that has good kink content
- How is the Kink community dealing with the COVID-19 situation? In a word? Badly.
- Zach is presenting at Poly Dallas Millennium this year and Intimacy is a PDM ambassador! This is definitely a hint for you to go out there and buy tickets to support this amazing event. YOU CAN DO THAT HERE
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See you next week when we tackle Kink/BDSM in movies/tv shows.