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Episode 02-12: The Real Mr. Grey

This week, we continue our Kinktober conversation (Week 3!) and talk about the movie Secretary. Sham had never seen it before and I (Jhen) have seen it multiple times over the years. This movie came out in 2002 so the fashion and cinematography are DATED for sure but it’s definitely a movie worth watching.

Let’s dive into our conversation on the movie Secretary starring Maggie Gyllenhaal, James Spader and other people.
BOY do we have some thoughts? Haven’t seen the movie? Just need a refresher or are an avid re-watcher? This episode is for you! First things first, check out the movie trailer HERE.
**Trigger Warning for Secretary: Self Harm, Alcoholism in a parent, BDSM**

  • We start this episode and Jhen mentions Quills!!!! Starring Kate Winslet & Geoffrey Rush. It also has Joaquin Phoenix and a bunch of other famous people. In case you have never heard about this movie which came out in the Y2K, it’s about the Marquis de Sade who wrote all sorts of deviant nasty shit (not kink-shaming, just like…yeah) SEE THE TRAILER HERE
  • FIRST THINGS FIRST: Secretary is an older movie like we said, you can definitely tell.
  • It is just a spreader bar. I think that’s what they’re called.
  • This flashback to past and then present really was confusing but here we are.
  • Sham has many thoughts about the way Lee does her office work from that opening scene.
  • We discuss the idea of kink as therapy/for self development and the portrayal of people who seem to have deep emotional issues and that being the “only” reason they are into kink.
  • ALL the characters in Secretary are WEIRD
  • This is DEFINITELY a white ass movie. Neither of us remember any POC in this movie. If you saw one, let us know.
  • YEP this is where we talk about 50 Shades being a cross between Twilight & Secretary and all the similarities. Did E.L. James steal the kink stuff from Secretary????? The original Mr. Grey was way more interesting, just saying
  • Jhen’s brain REALLY did not work well with figuring that out. Not at all.
  • Maggie does have a historical face. Should she be a model for historical romance novels?????? Maybe
  • Yeah how old was Lee in this movie anyway? Let’s really think about that for a second.
  • Oh there are so many red flags in this movie! So many red flags.
  • Is E. Edward Grey on the spectrum or something? WHY was he so weird???
  • James Spader plays Red in Blacklist and so seeing him in Secretary is SO weird considering I’ve just been continuously seeing Red on tv for a while
  • The Sharpie/not Sharpie. LOL
  • WAS it a milk bath or was it just a bubble bath?
  • WHY was JC Penny giving cellphones to employees in this movie??? This is a real question.
  • Mr. Grey had a REACTION to her looking through the trash & also to her placing mouse traps.
  • Jhen gives weird voices as we describe the ONLY on screen spanking we see. All the other punishments for the most part are closed door.
  • Did we mention that this is never a thing we do ever???? You DO NOT engage in any kind of play like that without consent and negotiation.
  • “You should hire an HR manager before you hire a secretary” – Sham to E. Edward Grey.
  • We talk about TPE, Master/Slave dynamics on Episode 02-11 with Zach Budd & Intimacy
  • The montage of kink and fetish etc is SOMETHING
  • What is this laundromat/restaurant date? Jhen was thinking this the whole time.
  • We really are hop, skipping & jumping all over the place cause we cover the ex wife and a bunch of other stuff
  • REALLY WHY DID SHE SEND HIM A DEAD WORM????
  • Oh yes this masturbation scene where she was touching herself over her panties?
  • The most awkward sex scene in the world! Jhen’s noises are primo. Let’s be honest
  • Mr. Grey jizzes ALL OVER HER BACK
  • The big breakup scene really upset us. He tricked her hardcore by playing this as a romantic thing but breaks up with her instead.
  • We definitely have differing opinions on the importance of what happens when the breakup occurs and she’s moving out of her office.
  • Lee really was trynna figure our her kinks and fetishes and trying things out with people whose kinks did not match her.
  • Lee’s loving declaration in a wedding dress that does not suit her was definitely an amazing moment
  • “Oh, it’s you.” – Lee to Peter after running away in his mother’s wedding dress and him finding her in Mr. Grey’s office.
  • “Why don’t you move your hands?” Because I don’t want to – powerful!
  • Mr. Grey picking her up in this pee soaked wedding dress from his office chair and taking her to get cleaned up
  • He does give her very delayed but wonderful aftercare.
  • Maggie Gyllenhaal is the only character who is nude or overtly sexual in this movie which is definitely interesting.
  • This is the FIRST time they have kissed.
  • WHERE DID SHE GET THIS ROACH FROM OUTTA HER POCKET???
  • Honestly, back to the roach, why for the bugs???

Poly Dallas Millennium 2020 is happening November 6-8, 2020 and Jhen is hosting the Friday night opening ceremony along with Pages Matam aka Sir Wolfgang. Do you wanna be a part of this amazing 3 day event? Sign up TODAY using THIS LINK.

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