Episode 03-14: Being Marjani Lane
It’s Mental Health Awareness Month and Jhen has two amazing episodes coming your way.
This week, Jhen is talking to Marjani Lane about her journey into polyamory, her personality disorders and how they affect her polyamorous life.

Wanna know more about our guest on this episode?
Marjani Lane aka Ebony (she/they) is a Black queer polyamorous content creator on IG, who focuses on the representation and education of Black people in non-monogamy. Their focus is creating relatable information that is accessible for different levels of education and promotes the decolonization of non-monogamy for BIPOC.
Where can you find Marjani Lane?
Apologies for the technical difficulties with the audio and video on this episode! Technology was technology-ing!
Content Warnings For This Episode
- There are direct mentions to MST and Rape/Sexual Assault but no details are discussed
- There is a direct mention to suicide where we discuss how well people with depression mask very well. Robin Williams is referenced here
- We talk about intrusive thoughts in relation to homicidal and suicidal ideation related to certain mental illnesses
Tidbits from the episode
- Marjani Lane was in the military and used to be married
- Marjani Lane has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder. She also has depression and anxiety and PTSD from MST (Military Sexual from Trauma)
- One of the issues she has experienced with some partners is that they think they can challenge it or “beat” it in some way and they do not actually understand
- Marjani feels as if her ASPD benefitted her in some way while she was in the military
- Jhen discloses that she has also been sexually assaulted and that she has depression and anxiety
- We get into a great discussion about boundaries
- Marjani says if she were to describe herself as an animal, that she would be a shark (they later identify with Bojack Horseman)
- I stand by what I said about orcas and dolphins!
- Jhen is described as a black house cat by friends but somehow self described as the dragon from Shrek (don’t ask)
- Marjani is currently investing in herself and focusing on transitioning her career and life from Hawaii and not focusing on dating people currently
- We discuss the polyamorous influencer life and the roots of the name Marjani Lane. Did you know Marjani means “coral” in Swahili?
- Fluid bonding is transphobic? People be saying a lot of weird things. ANYWAY we were really talking about the importance of making polyamorous content accessible and also ensuring we have Black people and other people of colour at the table.
- We talk more about non-monogamous practices in different countries in Africa and also about decolonizing non-monogamy and queerness
- Fort Island in Hawaii sounds like my kind of place back in the day
Where can you find Monogamish Pod online
Where can you talk to Jhen (and also send her money to support the pod)
Bonus!
- Did you subscribe to the Monogamish Pod Newsletter? What are you waiting for? Subscribe today at monogamishpod.substack.com and read the first issue immediately. Issue 2 drops on May 31, 2022.
- Answer the poll questions for the episode on Spotify
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Catch you on May 18th for the next episode in our Mental Health Awareness Month series.
Xoxo
– Jhen
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