Episode 03-15: The D in BPD

Posted On May 19, 2022

On this week’s episode, Jhen is continuing the conversation on Mental Health Awareness Month by talking to D.A., a Black pansexual polyamorous woman who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). We talk about how BPD and other mental health issues can affect polyamorous relationships and there are some book and social media recommendations to hear as well.
CW for this episode for conversations about suicide/suicidal ideation, self harm, eating disorders, depression, anxiety, loss of a family member.

Wanna know more about our guest on this episode?

D.A. (she/her) is a Black pansexual polyamorous cis woman who was diagnosed with BPD in 2012. She is a bicoastal educator who lives between California and Maryland and, also has depression, anxiety and non-epileptic seizures. She chronicles her journey in self-awareness, mental health, and polyamory via open journal entries, prose, and poetry.

Where can you find D.A.?

• Facebook

Tidbits from the episode:

• What is BPD?
  • “Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that severely impacts a person’s ability to regulate their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.”
  • Borderline personality disorder is also called emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) and emotional intensity disorder (EID).
• There are 4 types of BPD and it can look similar to Bipolar Disorder but there are obvious differences.
• BPD has been represented in the media like in Euphoria and in Girl, Interrupted, but they tend to choose the harshest representation of it to portray.
• Another name
• Google “the most painful mental disorder” and BPD is what will come up at the top of the search results.
• There is no medication that can treat BPD as a whole, the symptoms can, like depression, can only be managed.
• ThThere might even be a neurological reason for some BPD symptoms!
• D.A. also loved Queer as Folk like Jhen but we can talk about the problematic elements of it.
• D.A. is dual nested bicoastally – She lives with her husband in L.A. and in Maryland with another partner.
• D.A. has a 23 page health care plan and a care team 10+ people strong to help her manage her condition.
• D.A. does not practice hierarchy in her romantic relationships and is kinda solo poly BUT she is also in a D/s power exchange dynamic with one of her romantic partners (not her husband)

Books mentioned in this episode:

• Raven Kaldera:
  • Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic
  • Broken Toys: Submissives With Mental Illness and Neurological Dysfunction
  • Mastering Mind: Dominants with Mental Illness and Neurological Dysfunction
  • Hell on Wheels: Disabled Dominants
  • Kneeling in Spirit: Disabled Submissives
• Orpheus Black
  • The Enso: A Philosophy of Submission

Advice for caring for someone with BPD

Take care of yourself. Do not be so into caring for this other person that you love, that you forget to care for you. And that includes receiving care from your community.

D.A. Rogers – May 18, 2022

People talking about BPD on Social Media

• Joe Tracini on Twitter
  • Post about symptoms of BPD
  • Post about what negative messages does to him
• Putting the B in BPD on TikTok

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Bonus!

• Did you subscribe to the Monogamish Pod Newsletter? What are you waiting for? Subscribe today at monogamishpod.substack.com and read the first issue immediately. Issue 2 drops on May 31, 2022.
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• No new episodes in June BUT there will be some rereleases so look out for those

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xoxo
-Jhen