Last week we talked about Cheating and Jealousy and mentioned that each relationship needs their own rules about what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour. This applies to both monog & non-monog relationships & friendships etc so this week we will be diving into the topic of relationship rules and our quick advice on how best to do it.

Jhen is a little nuts with the intro, we know and this is our first episode with an anchor ad properly placed! Yay us!!!

• Dancehall star Konshens posted on his IG some ish about the relationship with his wife and all the shit he has put her through which is why he “lost” her but…she made a post asking who said she would leave her man? LOL. Cyan be inna people business for real but it looks like they are back on/working it out.

• Justine Timberlake made news a couple weeks ago while seeming to canoodle with his costar and ALSO took to IG on the SAME DAMN DAY as Konshens to talk about how NOOOOOTHING happened but he’s embarassed and would never disrespect his wife and doesn’t wanna teach his son this stuff blah blah. A whole lotta words for nothing happening. MIGHT suspicious JT.

• The two celeb tidbits are clear instances of some possible rules being violated.

• Making a lasagna for someone who isn’t a spouse of family member is cheating. I don’t make the rules. It just is what it is.

• Implied vs Obvious rules exist in all relationships: Monog, Non-Monog, Friendships etc but it’s always best to err on the side of caution. If you aren’t sure if your partner would be okay with it, you probably shouldn’t do it.

• We don’t wanna leave out our Ace family when talking about relationships. All rules do NOT have to be sexual. Here are some quick resources on Asexuality aka the A in LGBTQIA+

  • http://www.whatisasexuality.com/intro/

  • https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-asexual#Being-asexual-means-different-things-to-different-people

  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality (Wikipedia IS a source no matter what my high school teachers told me!)

• How many rules are TOO many though? Is it really healthy if some rules are one sided/cannot be met equally 

  • Rules should be equal enough that both parties get to enjoy. IMO the rules should not favour one member of the partnership over the other. Some kind of equity must exist. 

  • Jhen – if i’m allowed to fuck other women, you should be too. If we’re both bi/pan etc then we can engage in whatever we desire to our heart’s content as long as there is transparency. 

• The rules we crowd sourced. You decide what you think of these and tweet us about them!

  • No kissing other people on the mouth

  • Certain holidays/special days are off limits to non-monog activity

  • Use condoms aka no fluid bonding

  • Let your primary know who your other partners are

  • No fucking exes

  • Inform your primary before any encounter takes place

  • If your new partner has an SO, they need to be okay with it

  • Each new partner must have gotten tested recently

  • Primary has to be in the room during any encounter (no fucking alone)

  • Don’t give anyone else oral

  • No penetrative sex

  • No threesomes without primary partner

• Advice on forming relationship rules?

  • should be for the individual relationship which is how I feel about all relationships cause there isn’t a one size fits all option 

  • Feel free to check with each other to see if the rules are still working/need to be changed

Here’s the comic Sham mentioned!

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