Episode 02-04: Aromantic and Polyamorous

HERE is a post about Somerville and the amazing thing they did. Really can’t believe we did not discuss this on the show before but honestly, there has been SO MANY THINGS going on. Whew. Happy to have slid it in to this episode though because yay joy.

Let’s define some terms and get through FAQ before we dive into the interview portion eh?
Please note that this conversation was recorded back in June and is in it’s natural flow so we hop, skip & jump all over the place.

Aromantic: a person who has no little to no interest in or desire for romantic relationships
Is aromantic and asexual the same thing?: Nope! You can be both aromantic and asexual but they do not mean the same thing. Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction, and asexual people experience little to no sexual attraction.
Where can I find information about aromanticism?: Lucky for you guys there is this handy dandy website that has information there. https://www.aromanticism.org/
We also include some diagrams with definitions and relevant ideas to the conversation throughout the show notes.

Leh we go!

• Her journey in non-monogamy sort of starts with her having dated multiple people but never got into the whole relationship thing, more like a perpetual talking/friends with benefits sort of stage.

• She only went to monogamy due to someone she considers “her first love” asking her to date them exclusively and she did that. She ghosted all her other people just to be with this dude! Don’t worry though, that story has a happy ending

• Vee really had to explain to Jhen the difference between “talking” and “kicking it” cause she was not hip with the lingo.

• We talked a bit about serial monogamy, connecting with people through monogamy and how we feel about that. It gets a bit deep to be honest.

• After things ended with her first love, she tried another relationship that didn’t work out and then lost her dad and took a 10 year dating break after which she tried monogamous dating again and..it did not go well

• Fast forward to a friend putting her into a singles group that ended up having people who were in the lifestyle. She met a gentleman who was into kink and poly and helped kick start her research and learning about the lifestyle

• Vee explains her identifiers to us and talks to us about how her identities intersect and goes into a bit of detail about how love and aromanticism showed up in her life.

• Vee realised her aromanticism as a child but didn’t have the vocabulary for it. She just discovered that term a few months ago.

• We all agree that a house husband baby making machine is what we all need. Well…Sham is the house husband and Jhen has some ideas of how that’s supposed to work that does not quite fit the mold. We agree polyamory fixes all of our ideas about it.

“I am not anti-romanticism. I’m i’m not anti-marriage and i’m not anti-monogamy. I am very pro whatever is authentic to you”

Vanilla Rose

The Different Types of Love – Poly means many right? There are many ways to love.

• Vee is also not looking to be a sister wife or to be anybody’s spouse the way we traditionally understand these terms to be used. She wants the intimacy that is natural to the relationship and not something forced up us by society.

• She enjoys sex but has intimate connections that don’t even include sex because that is only one kind of intimacy.

• She really just needs friendship in all her partnerships. Her relationship style is definitely Egalitarian.

“Get out my pussy, I can do what I want.”

Jhen

• Interested in having a girlfriend but trying to figure out the whole romantic part out. She just wants to cuddle and rub some booty. That’s it. Jhen has taken her up on this girlfriend offer. Sham is writing the cuddling contract.

• Did we mention that Vee can have sex with someone that she doesn’t necessarily like? That’s a thing. Different types of attraction are a thing too.